sex

Sex is like air … it’s no big deal until you’re not getting any : - )

I’m starting with a joke because I don’t want this blog entry to be too serious. Sex is a huge subject and very much up there in the forefront, alongside the subject of love and it can have a big influence on our wellness.

But people are divided. To some people, like me it’s very important but to others, it may not be. If you’re happy the way you feel then all is well. I’m not making recommendations one way or the other. For me sex is a beautiful gift - a gift from the gods. For me it can be used in many ways: to make us happy; to show each other love; to bond a relationship; to play on a sunday afternoon; it can be the most wholesome and beautiful thing between people.
It can be many things depending on how we feel, who we are with and what the moment brings.
a Previous partner would wake me in the middle of the night to have sex if she couldn’t get off to sleep - she swore that it was better than a sleeping pill. It can be strong and aggressive, it can be playful, it can be loving and dreamy, it can be casual, it can be with the intent of making babies – wow! can it be more wonderful than that?

I see two aspects of sexual expression:
the play, the touching, fondling, kissing part with a partner and/or the orgasm with or without a partner. Both make us feel good - one strokes us on the outside and one strokes us on the inside. They can go hand in hand or not ... it doesn't matter I think but what matters is that we engage in it (if that is your propensity - as I mentioned in the previous paragraph) and abandon ourself to it and enjoy it. it is so satisfying and feels so good that I think it must have a deep wellness component.

I would take the following tongue-in-cheek but  Live Science Magazine
reported some years ago that if you can't make it to the gym, try fooling around. Your heart might thank you. A study of 2,500 men aged 49 to 54 found that having an orgasm at least three times a week cut in half the likelihood of death from coronary heart disease.

Of course we bring a load of baggage with sexuality -  our mother’s and father’s influence, our early experiences, our fears about letting go, our fears about our bodies and being naked, our adult experiences – often having been let down or having been disappointed or even hurt. For me the never ending performance anxiety. I could go on and on. Such a complex area of our lives is bound to affect our wellness.

if however, you are one of those people for whom it is not high on the list, then don’t  read further.
Be truthful with yourself though … we must not pretend it’s not important if in reality it is, but our many failures (or what we perceive as failures though in fact they may not have been failures at all) have convinced us to pretend that we don’t care about it. That’s not a good idea. The thought will only continue on a much deeper level in our minds and it can spread poison into other areas of our lives.

I can’t even suggest that you ‘be yourself’, because I can see how I’ve changed over the years. When I look back on my own sexual path which started in such naivety, I see that I’ve learned so much from every person that I’ve met on that path. I try not be hold back, to go into each relationship with as much hope, openness and honesty as always and just keep on … trusting, loving, experiencing, and having fun.